You Know What I Hate? Indian Givers...

Sometimes My Mother Goes Through My Socks And Underwear. I Wouldn't Mind, But It Tickles So Much!

When Deciding Between Two Competing Theories, Always Go With The One That Doesn't Involve A Magic Spell.

The Other Day A Woman Came Up To Me And Said, Didn't I See You On Television? I Said, I Don't Know. You Can't See Out The Other Way.

My Jokes Are In My Head And I Have A Duplicate Copy Of My Jokes In A Lot Of British Comics' Heads, Where They Are Safe.

Anger Punishes The Bearer's Heart. Who Remains Angry Suffers Most. For Many, The Search For Perfection Virtually Guarantees It Will Be Found, And Disregarded In Order To Continue The Search. Some Mornings It Just Doesn't Seem Worth It To Gnaw Through The Leather Straps.