I Got Two Stools, In Case I

Do You Think I Am Standing Here, Making This Up As I Go? I Am Sorry To Disillusion You. I Am Not Robin Williams. I Am The King Of The Pen.

I Know People Who Believe In Ghosts But Don't Believe In Themselves.

There Was A Product On Late Night Tv That You Could Attach To Your Garden Hose - "you Can Water Your Hard-to-reach Plants With This." Who Would Make Their Plants Hard To Reach? That Seems So Very Mean. I Know You Need Water, But I'm Going To Make You Hard To Reach. "think Like A Cactus!"

I'm Gonna Fix That Last Joke By Taking Out All The Words And Adding New Ones.

I Want To Rob A Bank With A Bb Gun. "give Me All Your Money Or I Will Give You A Dimple! I Will Be Rich, You Will Be Cute. We Both Win."