I Got Two Stools, In Case I

If You Boat A Lot, You're Known As A Boating Enthusiast. I Like To Boat, But I Just Don't Want To Ever Be Referred To As A 'boating Enthusiast'. I Hope They Call Me 'a Guy Who Likes To Boat'.

I Don't Have A Girlfriend. But I Do Know A Woman Who'd Be Mad At Me For Saying That.

I Bought A Seven-dollar Pen Because I Always Lose Pens And I Got Sick Of Not Caring.

A Sleeping Bag Is A Tortilla For A Human.

I Was Going To Get My Teeth Whitened, But I Said, "i'll Just Get A Tan Instead."