I Had An Iphone And A Droid

I'm A Happy Person But An Angry Citizen.

A Father And Two Sons Run Adelphia. It's A Cable Company. And They Took From That Company A Billion Dollars. A Billion. Three People - Three People Took A Billion Dollars. What Were They Gonna Do, Start Their Own Space Program? 'let's Send The Monkey To Mars, Dad!'

I Don't Understand How Anybody's Still A Democrat Or A Republican. I Don't Know What They're Basing It On.

I Think The Only Reason You Visit An Apple Store Is Because You Wonder What Life Is Like On Another Planet.

The Fine Line That You Do When You Do Political Comedy Is, As Long As You Have That Laugh, You're Fine.