I Had To Perform At The White

I Tried Real Hard To Play Golf, And I Was So Bad At It They Would Have To Check Me For Ticks At The End Of The Round Because I'd Spent About Half The Day In The Woods.

Women In Bed Are Like Diesel Engines. What I Mean By That Is, It May Take Them A While To Get Going, But When You Do, They Can Go For A Long, Long Time. Whereas Men Are Like... Bottle Rockets.

You Might Be A Redneck If You Think People That Send Out Graduation Announcements Are Show-offs.

To Me, The Media In New York And La Have Always Missed The Essence Of This Country.

I Hope Someday We Can Stamp Out Illiteracy In America. Of Course You'll Have To Kill Alot Of My Relatives To Do It.