I Hated My Last Boss. He Asked,

When A Comic Becomes Enamored With His Own Views And Foists Them Off On The Public In A Polemic Way, He Loses Not Only His Sense Of Humor But His Value As A Humorist.

I Couldn't Care Less What Anybody Says About Me. I Live My Life, Especially My Personal Life, Strictly For Myself... Whatever You Do, You're Going To Be Criticized. I Feel The One Sensible Thing You Can Do Is Try To Live In A Way That Pleases You.

We're More Effective Than Birth Control Pills.

I Loved The Towns I Grew Up In As A Boy, And After I Became A Celebrity, I Went Back Several Times. I Would Have Had The Time Of My Life Seeing The Old Places And The Old Faces Again, But The Attitude Of Those Same People Was, "i Guess You're So Big We Bore You Now."

I Get Sick Of That Old Rationalization, "we're Staying Together Because Of The Children." Kids Couldn't Be More Miserable Living With Parents Who Can't Stand Each Other. They're Far Better Off If There's An Honest, Clean Divorce.