I Love Fishing. It's Transcendental Meditation With

Don't Die Until You're Dead.

If You Give People A Chance, They Shine.

[to Audience Members Who Were Arriving Late] You Haven't Missed A Thing, I Was Just Killing Time 'til You Got Here.

All Anyone Really Needs To Know About Barbed Wire Is That It Can Tear The Arse Out Of Your Trousers, Give A Cow A Good Fright, Entangle A Yorkshire Terrier For Life, And Is Nasty Stuff Made By Greedy Men.

American Sex Shops Are The Most Bizarre. They Sell These Inflatable Dolls, But They Also Sell Just The Head -- Supposedly For People To Drive Along The Highway With.