I Have The Brain Of A German

My Haircutter Figured Out I Whine Less If I'm Under General Anesthesia. I Just Hope When I Awaken They Haven't Given Me A Brazilian Wax.

I Love Watching People Get Hit In The Crotch. But Only If They Get Back Up. If Their Teeth Are Bleeding, If They're Really Hurt, If An Ambulance Has To Come, I'm Not Laughing.

The Other Day My Twelve-year-old Says To Me, I Don't Feel Like I'm With You Right Now. You're In The Car With Me, You're Checking Your E-mail, You're Not Listening To Me, I Don't Feel Like I'm With You. And I Say, You Know What? That Was Your Mother's Gripe, Too. And She Was Right. And You're Also Correct. When You Cop To Something, You Get To The Next Level. In This Case, The Next Level Is: I Just Learned Something From My Twelve-year-old.

My Favorite Procrastination Is To Make The Choice To Have Valuable Times With Human Beings That I Care About Instead Of Holing Myself Up Alone To Get My Work Done.

If You Go With Marshall Mcluhan's Theory That The Medium Is The Message, As Soon As You're Hosting A Blooper Show, You're Done.