I Haven't Spoken To My Wife In

I Come From A Stupid Family. During The Civil War My Great Uncle Fought For The West.

[on 8/24/04, Before Entering A Los Angeles Hospital For Heart Valve Replacement Surgery] If Things Go Right, I'll Be There About A Week, And If Things Don't Go Right, I'll Be There About An Hour And A Half.

I'm Tellin' Ya I Get No Respect. When I Was In Switzerland, I Got An Obscene Yodel.

I Bought A New Japanese Car, I Turned On The Radio ... I Don't Understand A Word They're Saying.

Steak And Sex, My Favorite Pair. I Get Them Both Very Rare.