I Just Don't Get Cats. To Me,

Good Weather All The Week, But Come The Weekend The Weather Stinks. When The Weather Is Too Hot They Complain, Too Cold They Complain, And When It's Just Right, They're Watching Tv.

I Hate Learning Through Experience. Just Once I'd Like To Learn Something Because Someone Was Nice Enough To Tell Me In Advance.

If I Say A Joke And The Audience Laughs It Makes Me Feel Good.

Don't Try To Teach Men How To Do Anything In Public. They Can Learn In Private; In Public They Have To Know.

A Saleslady Holds Up An Ugly Dress And Says, 'this Looks Much Better On.' On What? On Fire?