I Just Don't Get Cats. To Me,

An Amicable Divorce Is Like A Ventilated Condom; It Just Doesn't Work.

I Rationalize Shop. I Buy A Dress Because I Need Change For Gum.

When A Woman Tries On Clothing From Her Closet That Feels Tight, She Will Assume She Has Gained Weight. When A Man Tries Something From His Closet That Feels Tight, He Will Assume The Clothing Has Shrunk.

I Was Going With Someone For A Few Years, But We Broke Up. It Was One Of Those Things. He Wanted To Get Married, And I Didn't Want Him To.

Men Don't Live Well By Themselves. They Don't Even Live Like People. They Live Like Bears With Furniture.