I Know A Man Who Gave Up

If Life Was Fair, Elvis Would Be Alive And All The Impersonators Would Be Dead.

I Know A Man Who Gave Up Smoking, Drinking, Sex, And Rich Food. He Was Healthy Right Up To The Day He Killed Himself.

I Feel The One Sensible Thing You Can Do Is Try To Live In A Way That Pleases You. If You Don't Hurt Anybody Else, What You Do Is Your Own Business.

Everybody I Meet In Public Seems To Want To Audition For Me. If I Ask A Guy What Time It Is, He'll Sing It To Me.

I Can't Say I Ever Wanted To Become An Entertainer. I Already Was One, Sort Of-around The House, At School, Doing My Magic Tricks, Throwing My Voice And Doing Popeye Impersonations. People Thought I Was Funny; So I Kind Of Took Entertaining For Granted It Was Inevitable That I'd Start Giving Little Performances.