I'm A Heroine Addict. I Need To

When I Get A Cold Sore, I Put Carmex On It, Because Carmex Is Supposed To Alleviate Cold Sores. I Don't Know If It Does Help, But It Will Make Them More Shiny And Noticeable. It's Like Cold-sore-highlighter. Maybe They Could Come Up With An Arrow That Heals Cold Sores.

I Went To A Restaurant With My Friend, And He Said, "pass The Salt." I Said, "screw You! Sit Closer To The Salt."

I Know People Who Believe In Ghosts But Don't Believe In Themselves.

I Want To Get A Vending Machine, With Fun Sized Candy Bars, And The Glass In Front Is A Magnifying Glass. You'll Be Mad, But It Will Be Too Late.

When You Start Out In Comedy, Or Probably In A Lot Of Things, You Want It To Happen Fast. You Don't Want To See Yourself Having To Do This For Seven Years Before You Start To Get Some Feedback.