I'm A Jerk, That's Who I Am.

Trying On Pants Is One Of The Most Humiliating Things A Man Can Suffer That Doesn't Involve A Woman.

I've Led This Empty Life For Over Forty Years And Now I Can Pass That Heritage On And Ensure That The Misery Will Continue For At Least One More Generation.

I Wasn't Making Fun Of My Father In-law's Religion. And Even If I Was So What, It's A Comedy. Religion Should Be Made Fun Of, It's Quite Ridiculous Isn't It. Think How People Spend Their Lives, They Have No Idea. They Go Around As If This Is A Fact. It's So Insane You Know. If I Really Believed That Stuff I'd Keep It To Myself. Lest Somebody Think I Was Out Of My Mind.

I Just Wanted Laughs - That's Really What I Was After.

I Find Human Contact Repulsive.