I'm A Self-made Man. Who Else Would

I Am No More Humble Than My Talents Require.

I Never Read Bad Reviews About Myself, Because My Friends Invariably Tell Me About Them.

Marriage Is A Triumph Of Habit Over Hate.

A Politician Is A Man Who Will Double Cross That Bridge When He Comes To It.

I Could Never Have A Mistress, Because I Couldn't Bear To Tell The Story Of My Life All Over Again.