I'm Attracted To Heartbreakers.

It Was Great To Be The Rock Comic, The Shock Comic. But After You've Played Giants Stadium With Bon Jovi In Front Of 82,000 People, After You've Done The 'wild Thing' Video With Jessica Hahn And Every Rock Band From Hell, You're Not Gonna Top That.

The Russians Haven't Been To The Moon. You Know Why? Because They're Space Pussies... You Really Want To Impress Us? Bring Us Back Our Flag!

With Any Other Celebrity, People Come Up And Say, 'hey, I Really Like Your Work.' But With My Fans, When They See Me, They Don't Even Say Hello. They Just Go, 'awwwwwghghhhghghrrr!'

Lick The Alphabet. It Makes You Appear Creative, It's An Easy Diagram To Remember, It's Like "aaaaa.... Beeeee.... Ceeee.

I Called A Detox Center - Just To See How Much It Would Cost: $13,000 For Three Weeks! My Friends, If You Can Come Up With Thirteen Grand, You Don't Have A Problem Yet.