I'm Not Like A Performer Type.

It's A Horrible Economy But I'm Trying To Do My Part. I Just Bought A New Shower Curtain It Has All The Presidents On It. Do You Know How Hard It Is To Masturbate With All The Presidents Staring At You? And When The Water Hits Them It Looks Like They're Crying.

I Don't Think I'm A Star Or A Celebrity Or Any Thing Like That.

I Don't Have A Girlfriend But Sometimes I Like To Pretend I Do. I Just Stand In My Apartment Screaming No, That's Not What I Said!

My Cousin Had A Baby And I Was Watching Her Breastfeed For A Couple Of Bucks, And I'll Tell You Ladies: It's Amazing.

Being On The Road Is Kind Of Lonely.