I'm One Of The People That When

My Nieces And My Nephews Think The Only Thing That I Do Is 'ice Age.' That's Fine With Me Because Pretty Soon They'll Grow Up Enough To Realize That I Suck Or That My Time Has Passed, Whichever It Might Be.

My Goal Is To Leave This Planet With The Biggest Carbon Footprint I Can Possibly Leave.

If You're Over 52 Years Old And You're On Facebook, Do Us All A Favor And Log Off Now.

I Can't Text. My Fingers Are Too Big.

Marriage Is Like A Dull Meal With The Dessert At The Beginning.