If You're Over 52 Years Old And

My Kids Watch Everything Downloaded; They Have No Idea What The Numbers Or The Names Of The Channels Mean, Except "fx Makes The Show That I See On My Computer." So It's Harder To Get A Show On The Air, But At The Same Time, There Are A Lot Of Terrific Shows.

Kids Are Incredibly Expensive. But It Pays Off Later When They Are Better Educated, Bigger, And Better-looking Than You. And Find You Incessantly Boring And Uncool.

Nobody Can Make More Fun Of Me Than I Already Make Of Myself.

I'm Gonna Get One Of Those Tracheotomies, So I Can Smoke Two Cigarettes At The Same Time! I'm Gonna Get Nine Tracheotomies, All Around My Neck, I'll Be Tracheotomy Man! He Can Smoke A Pack At A Time, He's Tracheotomy Man!

Jon Stewart Is Exactly The Same Guy He's Always Been, Only With Money. He Knows That The Moment He Really Believes He's Important, The Funny Goes Away And He Becomes Bill O'reilly, Except Shorter And Jewish.