I'm Very Open To The Up-and-comers.

Funny Is Funny Is Funny.

I'm One Of Those Passengers Who Arrives At The Airport Five Or Six Hours Early So I Can Throw Back A Few Drinks And Muster Up The Courage To Board The Plane. Apparently I'm Not Alone Because I've Never Been In An Empty Airport Bar. I Don't Care What Time You Get There. Even At 8:00 A.m. You Have To Fight Your Way To The Bar. At That Hour, Everyone Drinks Bloody Marys So No One Can Tell It's Booze- At Least Until They Fall Off Their Chair.

I Don't Have A Show Anymore. I Don't Have A Check Coming In Every Week. This Is Important To Me, I Got To Score A Million Tonight Or It Could All Be Over.

One Of The First Things That You Learn As A Stand-up Is, You're The Boss. It's Your Stage, And Don't Screw With Me Because I'll Make You Look Bad, Which I Had To Do, Because You Wind Up With Drunks And Loud People.

I Worked In Accounting For Two And A Half Years, Realized That Wasn't What I Wanted To Do With The Rest Of My Life, And Decided I Was Just Going To Give Comedy A Try.