I'm Very Pleased To Be Here. Let's

I'm Onstage For An Hour.i Do An Hour Of Stand-up. Actually, I Do 10 Minutes Standing Up And 50 Minutes Sitting In A Chair. Oh, Occasionally, I Stand Up Again To Do A Dance Or Put Over A Song. But Mostly I Sit Down. A Great Invention, Sitting Down.

When We Played The Back End Of A Horse We Always Knew That If We Worked Hard And Did A Good Job We Could Become The Front End.

There Are Many Ways To Die In Bed, But The Best Way Is Not Alone.

Fall In Love With What You're Going To Do For A Living. To Be Able To Get Out Of Bed And Do What You Love To Do For The Rest Of The Day Is Beyond Words. I'd Rather Be A Failure In Something I Love Than Be Successful In Something I Hate.

I Don't Have A Drinking Problem. I Drink. I Get Drunk. I Fall Down, No Problem.