I Masturbate! I Do It Like I

Capital Punishment, That Thing Scares Me, It Really Does. I Was Talking To My Friend About The Electric Chair, And He Starts Freakin' Out. He's Like 'the Electric Chair? That's Too Good For These People. That's Too Good For Them'. Alright, How Do We Make The Electric Chair Worse? How About This? They Have To Pedal A Car Battery To Their Own Head. Is That Ok? Is That Enough, Mr. Hitler?

You Can Say, 'can I Use Your Bathroom?' And Nobody Cares. But If You Ask, 'can I Use The Plop-plop Machine?' It Always Breaks The Conversation.

I Don't Mind A Crowd's Not Laughing; It's The Groans That Slow Down The Show.

I Smoke So Much. Three Packs A Day... I Went To The Bathroom, A Camel Came Out Of My Ass.

I Never Wanted To Be Famous.