I Never Go Jogging, It Makes Me

The Secret Of A Good Sermon Is To Have A Good Beginning And A Good Ending, Then Having The Two As Close Together As Possible.

When You Stop Giving And Offering Something To The Rest Of The World, It's Time To Turn Out The Lights.

Old Age Is When You Resent The Swimsuit Issue Of Sports Illustrated Because There Are Fewer Articles To Read.

With The Collapse Of Vaudeville New Talent Has No Place To Stink.

You Know You're Getting Old When You Stoop To Tie Your Shoelaces And Wonder What Else You Could Do While You're Down There.