I Never Smoked A Cigar In My

How Well I Remember My First Encounter With The Devil'ss Brew. I Happened To Stumble Across A Case Of Bourbon - And Went Right On Stumbling For Several Days Thereafter.

Never Mind What I Told You - You Do As I Tell You.

I Was Married Once--in San Francisco. I Haven't Seen Her For Many Years. The Great Earthquake And Fire In 1906 Destroyed The Marriage Certificate. There's No Legal Proof. Which Proves That Earthquakes Aren't All Bad.

It Is Funnier To Bend Things Than To Break Them.

Reality Is An Illusion That Occurs Due To The Lack Of Alcohol.