I Never Stole A Joke In My

I Don't Date Women My Age. There Aren't Any.

A Thing Of Beauty Is A Job Forever.

Experience Is What You Have After You've Forgotten Her Name.

Every Year My Boss Used To Give Me A Bottle Of Expensive Brandy Because I'd Told Him That My Doctor Suggested A Drink Once In A While. This Year My Boss Gave Me The Name Of A New Doctor.

My Son Really Has The Spirit Of Valentine's Day. When He Was In College, He Used To Send His Mother A Heart-shaped Box Of Laundry.