I Saw A Commercial For The Maxi

You're 28, Why Are You Going To Goth Clubs? Do What I Do, Sit At Home & Wait To Die. You Don't Have To Kill Yourself, You're Just Waiting.

I Swear My Car Won't Run Unless I'm Picking My Nose: At Least, I'm That Superstitious About It, So I Don't Want To Take Any Chances.

When I Fart My Ass Makes A Trumpet Sound That Heralds The Arrival Of The Smell.

Screw Guilt -- I Could Have Sex With 10 Men And It Wouldn't Bother Me. I'm An Atheist!

When I Am King, I Will Revise The Sexual Bases System So That Getting To First Base Will Include Oral Sex And Sodomy!