I Saw A Commercial For The Maxi

I'm Like John Q. Public. I Represent What Every Guy Wants And Needs.

I Used To Be A Democrat, Now I'm Basically A Republican.

I Don't Know Anything About Computers.

I Like My Parents But They Are Just Not Good Parents. They Are Nice Enough People. I'm Not Interested In Hurting Their Feelings.

The Reason Why You Know More Funny Dudes Than Funny Chicks Is That Dudes Are Funnier Than Chicks. If My Daughter Has A Mediocre Sense Of Humor, I'm Just Gonna Tell Her, "be A Staff Writer For A Sitcom. Because They'll Have To Hire You, They Can't Really Fire You, And You Don't Have To Produce That Much. It'll Be Awesome."