I Spent A Lot Of Money On

Robert Redford Used To Be Such A Handsome Man And Now Look At Him: Everything Has Dropped, Expanded And Turned A Funny Color.

Pain Is Temporary, Glory...lasts Forever!

I Was Ill, And Everyone Could See It But Me.

Me And A Mate Picked Up Two Darling Birds And They Took Us Back To Their Flat. I Went Into The Bedroom With My Bird And She Started Getting Undressed. I Was That Drunk I Was Standing There Wondering How To Get Undressed Without Letting Go Of The Award. I Went To Sit On The Bed, Missed It By Four Feet And Ended Up Lying On The Floor. I Remember The Bird Looking Down At Me, And Saying, ‘some Player Of The Year.’ Then I Fell Asleep. I Woke Up Still Clutching My Award And Staggered Out Of The Flat. I Hadn’t A Bloody Clue Where I Was.

Maybe 'loner' Is Too Strong A Word, But I've Always Enjoyed Being On My Own.