I Was Born With A Great Gift,

I Spent 90% Of My Money On Women And Drink. The Rest I Wasted

People Say I Slept With Seven Miss Worlds, I Didn't. It Was Only Four, I Didn't Turn Up For The Other Three

That's What Children Do - Throw Food. That's Not Fighting. We Were Real Men. We'd Have Chinned Them.

They Say Paul Gascoigne Is The New George Best But Has He Shagged Three Miss Worlds?

To Call Keegan A Superstar Is Stretching A Point.