I Tend To Think Of Myself As

My Father Used To Beat Me With His Belt...while It Was Still On Him.

Fat Jokes To Me Are Always, Always Hilarious, As Long As They're Done Towards Yourself.

I Don't Mean To Be Gross, But The Only Time It's Good To Yell "i Have Diarrhea" Is When You're Playing Scrabble Because It's Worth A Shitload Of Points.

I've Always Wanted To Have A Greek Sitcom Called Olive Lucy.

I Have A Lot Of Growing Up To Do. I Realized That The Other Day Inside My Fort.