I Think My Best Work Is When

So, To Say Obama Is Progress Is Saying That He’s The First Black Person That Is Qualified To Be President. That’s Not Black Progress. That’s White Progress. There’s Been Black People Qualified To Be President For Hundreds Of Years. The Question Is, You Know, My Kids Are Smart, Educated, Beautiful, Polite Children. There Have Been Smart, Educated, Beautiful, Polite Black Children For Hundreds Of Years. The Advantage That My Children Have Is That My Children Are Encountering The Nicest White People That America Has Ever Produced. Let’s Hope America Keeps Producing Nicer White People.

I Just Thought Everybody Lived Around Abandoned Buildings And Crack-heads, ... I Lived In The Ghetto Until I Was Like 19. I Came To Los Angeles, Stayed At Hotels And Stuff. When I Got Back And I Saw What My Neighborhood Looked Like, I Started Getting Scared.

I'll Go Back To Comedy Clubs When They Get A Real No-camera Policy, The Same Way They Did With Smoking.

Men Lie The Most, Women Tell The Biggest Lies... A Man's Lie Is, "i'm At Tony House, I Was At Kenny House!" A Woman Lie Is Like, "it's Your Baby!"

I've Seen Women Who Don't Have Great Relationships With Their Dads, And It All Comes Down To This: You Have To Tell Girls You Love Them Every Day.