I Think When You Take Off That

Turkeys Know Their Names, Come When You Call, And Are Totally Affectionate. They're Better Than Teenagers.

I Pray If I Ever Find Out I Have Only About Three Minutes To Live It's During A Basketball Game, Because Then I'll Have, What, 10, 12 Years To Live?

You Know You're Getting Fat When You Step On The Dog's Tail And He Dies.

Laundry's Easier When You Live Alone. Fifteen Minutes Before A Date, Put 'em On, Dry 'em With A Hair Blower.

Every Time We Help An Animal, We Are Healing Ourselves, Over And Over.