I Used To Have Mad Cow's Disease,

I Love Los Angeles. It Reinvents Itself Every Two Days.

I've Always Wanted To Go To Switzerland To See What The Army Does With Those Wee Red Knives.

Scottish-americans Tell You That If You Want To Identify Tartans, It's Easy - You Simply Look Under The Kilt, And If It's A Quarter-pounder, You Know It's A Mcdonald's.

People Who Are Willing To Get Off Their Arse To Search The Entire Room For The Tv Remote Because They Refuse To Walk To The Tv And Change The Channel Manually.

Honestly Some Folk Will Take Offence At Anything, I Met A Bloke With No Legs This Morning While At The Bus Stop, All I Asked Was "how Are You Getting On?"