I Used To Think That The Brain

I'm Not A Fatalist; Even If I Were, What Could I Do About It?

For Some Reason, Religious Jokes Seem As Trivial As Jokes About Food Or Driving.

I Was Feeling A Bit Down, I Went To A Therapist A Few Times, At A Hundred Bucks A Pop. But Then I Realized That No Therapy Session Would Ever Cheer Me Up Half As Much As If I Was Just Strolling Along And Found A Hundred Dollar Bill.

Computers Aren't Intelligent, They Only Think They Are.

Writing Jokes For Others Is Like Having Babies For Someone Else. It's Sad. Like The Woman Who Gives Up Her Baby But Needs To Be Close So She Secretly Becomes The Maid In The Household.