I've Been On The Whisky Diet -

Well, My Wife And I Were Married In A Toilet - It Was A Marriage Of Convenience!

I Went Window Shopping Today! I Bought Four Windows.

I Inherited A Painting And A Violin Which Turned Out To Be A Rembrandt And A Stradivarius. Unfortunately, Rembrandt Made Lousy Violins And Stradivarius Was A Terrible Painter.

I Went To Buy Some Camouflage Trousers The Other Day But I Couldn’t Find Any.

Police Arrested Two Kids Yesterday, One Was Drinking Battery Acid, The Other Was Eating Fireworks. They Charged One And Let The Other One Off.