So I Rang Up A Local Building

I Cleaned The Attic With The Wife The Other Day. Now I Can't Get The Cobwebs Out Of Her Hair.

I Went To The Dentist. He Said "say Aaah." I Said "why?" He Said "my Dog's Died."

So I Said To This Train Driver "i Want To Go To Paris". He Said "eurostar?". I Said "i've Been On Telly But I'm No Dean Martin".

A Man Goes To A Fancy Dress Party Dressed Only In His Y-fronts. A Woman Comes Up To Him And Says "what Are You Supposed To Be?" The Man Says "a Premature Ejaculation." "what?" Says The Woman. The Man Explains "i've Just Come In My Pants."

Doctor, I Can't Pronounce My F's, T's And H's.” “well You Can't Say Fairer Than That Then