I Went To The Dentist. He Said

I Inherited A Painting And A Violin Which Turned Out To Be A Rembrandt And A Stradivarius. Unfortunately, Rembrandt Made Lousy Violins And Stradivarius Was A Terrible Painter.

So A Lorry-load Of Tortoises Crashed Into A Train-load Of Terrapins, I Thought "that's A Turtle Disaster".

And An Airplane Of Spittle Dived Into The Sea, There Were No Salivas.

Now You Know Those Trick Candles That You Blow Out And A Couple Of Seconds Later They Come Alight Again, Well The Other Day There Was A Fire At The Factory That Makes Them.

Two Cannibals Eating A Clown. One Asks The Other, 'does This Taste Funny To You?'