I Went To The Dentist. He Said

A Dyslexic Man Walks Into A Bra.

I Backed Horse Last Week At Ten To One. It Came In At Quarter Past Four.

So I Went To The Doctor's Yesterday. He Said, "what Appears To Be The Problem?" I Said, "i Keep Having This Dream, Night After Night, Beautiful Girls Rushing Towards Me And I Keep Pushing Them Away." He Said, "how Can I Help?" I Said: "break My Arms."

I Went To Buy Some Camouflage Trousers The Other Day But I Couldn’t Find Any.

Police Arrested Two Kids Yesterday, One Was Drinking Battery Acid, The Other Was Eating Fireworks. They Charged One And Let The Other One Off.