Two Fish In A Tank, One Says

A Guy Walks Into A Pub With A Lump Of Asphalt On His Shoulder, He Says To The Bar Man Give Us A Pint And One For The Road.

Two Cannibals Eating A Clown. One Asks The Other, 'does This Taste Funny To You?'

A Man Walks Into A Bar, And He Said Ouch, Cause It Was An Iron Bar.

My Wife Had A Go At Me Last Night. She Said, Youll Drive Me To My Grave. I Had The Car Out In Thirty Seconds.

I Had A Ploughman's Lunch The Other Day. He Wasn't Very Happy.