I've Been Outed As A Christian.

You Never Want To Be The Worst Bowler Of The Group-because Then Everyone Treats You Like You Have Cancer. "you Can Do It! We're Praying For You." The Advice Starts. "use A Heavier Ball." "keep Your Arm Straight." "you Should Get A Vasectomy." If You're Really Bad At Bowling Like Me, They'll Ask If Want The Bumpers Up. Not That Bowling Is That Complex Anyway. "you Want The Bumpers? We Can Get Rid Of The Pins. Why Don't You Take This Coloring Book And Sit In The Corner?"

I Don't Have Any Delusions. I'm Not A Novelist - I'm A Comedian Who Writes. I Love Doing The Stand-up And The Touring And The Albums And All That, But It's Pretty Amazing To Go Into A Library And See Your Book There.

I Realized, In Removing Or Rewriting These Jokes, That Often The Jokes Weren't Done Or That I Was Using, For Me, The Curse Words As Kind Of A Crutch. So Then I Just Started Writing.

Comedians Kind Of Write What Comes To Them. You Can Give Yourself Little Assignments, But It's What Inspires You. So I Feel Like With Food, It Is A Passion Of Mine. It's Where My Sensibility Rests. I Love Topics That Are Universal, And I Love Stuff That Doesn't Alienate People.

It's Good To Be Back In New York. I Have Lived Here Ten Years. I'm Originally From Indiana. I Know What Most Of You Are Thinking: Indiana: Mafia. But The Fact Of The Matter Is Where I Grew Up There Was Something Very Similar To The Mafia: 4-h.