I've Never Cooked. I Can't Do Much

I'll Pat Myself On The Back And Admit I Have Talent. Beyond That, I Just Happened To Be In The Right Place At The Right Time

The Slapdash Way Producers Used To Assemble A Show Seems A Little Unbelievable When We Talk About Them Now

Of My Four Marriages, The One To Bob Levitt Is The Only One I Don't Regret

The Only Things I Read Are Gossip Columns. If I Read Three Pages Of A Book, I'm Out Like A Light. When I Pick Up The Book Again, I've Forgotten What I've Read And Have To Start Over Again. By Page Three, Even If I've Just Awakened From A Nine -hour Nap, I Fall Asleep Again. So If Anyone Gives Me A Book, It Had Better Have Lots Of Pictures.

Any Audience That Gets A Laugh Out Of Me Gets It While I'm Facing Them