I Want To Show People That There's

I Look For Women I Know Are Gonna Bust Me Up Good. Come On, Man, Who Can Resist That? Who Can Resist That Emotional Pain? Yeah, They All Have The Same Line, They're So Sweet: I'm Not Gonna Hurt You Like All The Others. Really I'm Not. I'm Gonna Introduce You To A Whole New Level Of Pain!

I Want To Show People That There's A Side Of Myself Other Than Just The Outrageous Comedian.

There's Always 30 Or 40 Christians Standing Around, Saying, "it's A Shame That He Has To Die." And Jesus Is Saying, "well, Maybe I Wouldn't Have To If Somebody Would Get A Ladder And Pair Of Pliers!!"

If I've Learned One Thing, It's 'don't Tell The Truth.' Lies Keep You Together.

My View Of Life Is, 'if You're Going To Miss Heaven, Why Miss It By Two Inches? Miss It!