I Was So Drunk Last Night I

I Don't Drink Anymore... I Freeze It And Eat It Like A Popsicle.

Everybody Makes Mistakes; Look At Hitler.

I Once Shook Hands With Pat Boone, And My Whole Right Side Sobered Up!

If People Want To Think I Get Drunk And Stay Out All Night, Let'em. That's How I Got Here, You Know.

Johnny Carson Is A Comedian Who Is Seen Every Night In Millions Of Bedrooms All Over America...and That's Why His Last Wife Left Him.