I Was So Ugly My Mother Used

Once When I Was Lost I Asked A Policeman To Help Me Find My Parents. I Said To Him, 'do You Think We'll Ever Find Them?' He Answered, 'i Don't Know, Kid. There Are So Many Places They Can Hide.

I'll Tell You One Thing, I Know How To Satisfy My Wife In Bed, Yeah, I Leave.

I Went To See My Doctor... Doctor Vidi-boom-ba. Yeah...i Told Him Once, "doctor, Every Morning When I Get Up And Look In The Mirror I Feel Like Throwing Up. What's Wrong With Me?" He Said, "i Don't Know, But Your Eyesight Is Perfect."

When I Was A Kid I Got No Respect. I Told My Mother, I'm Gonna Run Away From Home. She Said, On Your Mark.

Oh, When I Was A Kid In Show Business I Was Poor. I Used To Go To Orgies To Eat The Grapes.