I Was So Ugly That My Parents

My Grandson Is Mad At Me. He's Mad At Me Because I Squandered His College Fund On Spanx. It's A Lot, But There's A Lot Going On Here.

Nothing Is Yours Permanently So You Better Enjoy It While It's Happening.

I Now Consider It A Good Day When I Don't Step On My Boobs.

Tonight I'll Be Interviewing Ken Watanabe, Keisha Castle Hughes, Benecio Del Toro And Djimon Honsou - And Yes, Those Are Actors, Not Caterers.

A Man Can Sleep Around, No Questions Asked, But If A Woman Makes Nineteen Or Twenty Mistakes She's A Tramp.