A Man Can Sleep Around, No Questions

A Female Salmon Lays Three Thousand Eggs A Year - And Has Yet To Receive A Mother's Day Card From One Of Them.

And Since We're All Adults Here, Let's Be Brutally Honest-most Babies Are Not Actually Attractive. In Fact, They're Weird And Freakish Looking. A Large Percentage Of Them Are Squinty-eyed And Bald And Their Faces Are All Mushed Toegther, Kind Of Like Renee Zellweger Pushed Up Against A Glass Window.

Money Can't Buy You Happiness But It Can Pay For The Plastic Surgery.

I Think Hillary Clinton's Style Is Perfect. Perfect. You Don't Notice What She's Wearing, You Notice The Woman.

I Told My Mother-in-law That My House Was Her House, And She Said, 'get The Hell Off My Property.'