I Wish I Could Play Little League

I Know People Who Believe In Ghosts But Don’t Believe In Themselves. It’s Kind Of Sad. Okay You Don’t Think You’ll Ever Make It As A Musician, But Last Night You Saw A Translucent Caveman.

There's A Guy In The Audience With A Distinctive Laugh. I Hope That Guy Is Miked. The Only Problem With Having A Distinctive Laugh Is I Know Exactly When That Guy Isn't Laughing. "oh, Distinctive Laugh Doesn't Think That Joke Was Funny!"

If A Drink Was Ice Cold, It Would Be Impossible To Drink. Because It Would Be Solid. Here's A Drink, Mitch - It's Ice Cold. I Guess I Could Lick It.

I Don't Have A Girlfriend. But I Do Know A Woman Who'd Be Mad At Me For Saying That.

I Want To Rob A Bank With A Bb Gun. "give Me All Your Money Or I Will Give You A Dimple! I Will Be Rich, You Will Be Cute. We Both Win."