I Wish I Could Relate To The

You Might Be A Redneck If You Own At Least 20 Baseball Hats.

You Might Be A Redneck If Your Good Deed For The Month Was Hiding Your Brother For A Few Days.

People Would Say, Can We Develop A Sitcom Around You? And I Would Say, Not Interested. I'm Very Happy Doing Standup And Writing And Taking My Kids To School.

I Think With A Comedian, When You Get To The Point Of A Greatest Hits, It's Kind Of An Acknowledgment That You've Been Doing Stand-up A Long Time, Which Not Very Many People Do.

The Thing About That Singles Apartment Is You Never Had To Clean It Up... Until The Day You Got The Security Deposit Back. You're Arguing With The Landlord... 'no Sir, The Back Door Was Missing When We Moved In Here! The Pizzas Were Always On The Ceiling!'