You Might Be A Redneck If You

Women In Bed Are Like Diesel Engines. What I Mean By That Is, It May Take Them A While To Get Going, But When You Do, They Can Go For A Long, Long Time. Whereas Men Are Like... Bottle Rockets.

You Might Be A Redneck If Your Satellite Dish Payment Delays Buying School Clothes For The Kids.

I Turned Down A Movie This Summer Because It Was Nine Weeks In Vancouver And My Oldest Daughter Is 14. I've Got Four More Summers With Her. I'm Not Giving Away Nine Weeks Of Her Summer To Go Do A Silly Movie.

You Might Be A Redneck If Your Birth Announcement Included The Word Rug Rat.

You Might Be A Redneck If Your Boat Has Not Left The Driveway In 15 Years.