You Might Be A Redneck If You

The Things That I'm Talking About Not Knowing, They're Not Mysteries Of The Universe; It's Just Stuff I Thought I Would Know By The Time I Was Thirty-nine.

You Might Be A Redneck If Your Favorite Christmas Present Was A Painting On Black Velvet.

I Really Don't Require A Whole Lot In Life.

I Got My Wife A Mood Ring. It Works Real Good! When Shes In A Good Mood It Turns Blue, But When Shes In A Bad Mood Theres A Red Mark Across My Forehead

You Might Be A Redneck If Your Pocketknife Has Ever Been Referred To As Exhibit A.