I Would Like To Go Fishing And

I Can Whistle With My Fingers, Especially If I Have A Whistle.

I Hate Turkeys. If You Stand In The Meat Section At The Grocery Store Long Enough, You Start To Get Mad At Turkeys. There's Turkey Ham, Turkey Bologna, Turkey Pastrami. Some One Needs To Tell The Turkey, 'man, Just Be Yourself.'

I Saw Soda Pop For $1.20 A Six Pack. That Price Messes With Your Head. You Start Thinking You're Gonna Sell Soda Pop. Suddenly I've Got Packs Of Pop With Me. "looking To Buy Some Pop? 50 Cents A Can. It's Not Refrigerated Because This Is A Half-assed Commitment!"

I Played In A Death-metal Band. People Either Loved Us Or Hated Us. Or They Thought We Were Ok.

When You Go To A Bar That Has A Black Light, Everybody Looks Cool. Except For Me, Because I Was Under The Impression That The Mustard Stain Came Out.