I Wrote My Earliest Piece For The

I Think It Bespeaks A Generous Nature, A Man Who Can Cook.

In A Village You Can't Sack Or Fight With Someone, As You'll Find Yourself Stuck Beside Them In The Hairdresser's Next Morning.

But I Always Seem To Finish A Book And Then Think, Oh God, I've Got To Pay A Tax Bill, So I'd Better Write A Novel, So I Tend Not To Stop And Learn Word Processing.

People Always Assume That Bachelors Are Single By Choice And Spinsters Because Nobody Asked Them. It Never Enters Their Heads That Poor Bachelors Might Have Worn The Knees Of Their Trousers Out Proposing To Girls Who Rejected Them Or That A Girl Might Deliberately Stay Unmarried.

Always Be Nice To Everyone In The Firm On The Way Up. You Never Know Who You May Meet On The Way Down.