I Wrote My Earliest Piece For The

People Always Assume That Bachelors Are Single By Choice And Spinsters Because Nobody Asked Them. It Never Enters Their Heads That Poor Bachelors Might Have Worn The Knees Of Their Trousers Out Proposing To Girls Who Rejected Them Or That A Girl Might Deliberately Stay Unmarried.

Never Drink Black Coffee At Lunch; It Will Keep You Awake All Afternoon.

I'm Not Wild About Holidays. They Always Seem A Ludicrously Expensive Way Of Proving There's No Place Like Home.

Leo, Sadly, Has Parkinsons, But He Used To Cook All Sorts Of Dazzling Things.

The Male - I Have Found - Is A Domestic Animal Which, If Treated With Firmness And Kindness, Can Be Trained To Do Most Things.