If A Tree Falls On Your Head

When My Son Said, "i Can't Stop Thinking About Girls," I Said, "that's Not Gonna Stop. Congratulations. You're In The Club. From Now Until The Day You Die, One Way Or Another You'll Be Thinking About Girls.

New Parents Always Sound Like Hucksters In A Pyramid Scheme. Anyone Who Has Kids And Then Gets You To Go And Have Kids Gets A Check From Huckster Headquarters.

By Shrewdly Linking Procreation To An Act Likely To Make You Stupid With Excitement, God Has Seen To It That Life Does Indeed Go On. It's Possible, By The Way, That This Is Why God's Name Comes Up So Often In The Middle Of The Act; It's A Salute To The Author: Hey, Whoever Made This Up - Thanks.

The Consumer Mentality - We Like Something, What Other Flavor Does It Come In? We Like That Tv Show, Does It Come In A Book Form? Does It Come In A Capsule? How About A Soup?

A New Child In The House Is A Huge Tourist Attraction. It's Like Disneyland, Except There The Lines Are Longer And No One Brings Casseroles.