If I Don't Do Stand-up For Two

I Know How To Write. So I Am Not Totally At The Mercy Of Filmmakers, But It's Not A Bad Point.

When You’re A Bed Wetter There’s Only One Group Of People You Can Feel Better Than, Bed Shitters, And Unfortunately They’re Hard To Come By.

I Was Minnie Mouse For Halloween, Every Year When I Was Little. Then, I Had The Cinderella Nightgown, When I Was Really Little, That I Begged My Mother To Wear To School. I Was Also Snow White A Lot.

Being With Friends Felt Like A Burden. I Remember Just Sobbing.

Jesus Is Magic, Because He Turned Water Into Wine. I Think He Made The Statue Of Liberty Disappear In The 80s Or Something.