If I Don't Do Stand-up For Two

Summer Camp: The Second Worst Camp For Jews.

I Remember My First Standup Act When I Was Seventeen; I Did A Really Lame Song About Being Flat Chested. I Was Doing It In New York, And I Remember Kevin Brennan, The Guy I Lost My Virginity To, Was Like "that Song Doesn't Make Sense, You Have Tits."

I Do Love Poop. I Can't Help It. The Heart Wants What It Wants. I Enjoy Being Clever And Pithy And Political, But Nothing's Going To Get Me Like Dumb Stuff.

I've Always Kept My Overhead Low So I Could Do Whatever I Want. I Think Of Myself As Lazy With Spurts Of Getting A Lot Done. I Find Myself Rooting Against Things Sometimes Because I Get Excited At The Thought Of A Clean Slate.

When I Came Out To L. A., I Got A Part In An Episode Of 'star Trek: Voyager,' And I Hired An Acting Coach.